Forgiveness in Marriage Relationships

Tonia O. Alabi

Marriage relationship is based on love. Love in itself is compassionate and expressive, showing care and understanding of the person we love. Bearing this in mind, one wonders what happens when love in marriage relationships become sour.

With experience, I can say most times marriages become unhappy, it is because of situations of unresolved differences. One partner is not willing to talk or accept something is wrong. This could be as a result of lost trust or lack of respect for the other person’s need to be understood. Many marriage relationships have fallen apart just on this minor but important issue. Rev. Father Raymond Osei Tutu in his book “Great Sex” gave a quote, “Walls and bridges are never cheap if foundations are deep.” This short sentence is deep and it could take paragraphs to analyse it but what I take from it is that issues in our relationships could become difficult to resolve when we don’t handle them with patience but timely.

In that beautiful work of writing he emphasised the need for people to understand that Marriage is a vocation and Sacrament and the persons in it need to know that they have a third person in it, Christ. When we acknowledge the presence of Christ in our Union, we accept not only him but God the father and God the Holy Spirit. We cannot be carefree or careless with our relationship. He also spoke about maturity in marriage and that marriage is not for boys and girls. Self- control is an important virtue in the institution called Marriage. You have to live it as a Faith with the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

Forgiveness of other people’s sins is demanded from us and we are told in the scripture that we cannot go to sleep bearing grudge against our brother or sister –Ephesians 4: 26. This scripture is that which Steve and I have used in conducting ourselves in our marriage though not perfect and still being managed, we can say it is getting easier to forgive each other; our relationship is maturing. We are no longer handling our differences as boy or girl. We know whatever decision we take affects both of us, our day, our work, and us in the presence of our God. Please note that I have not mentioned our human (family and friend) relationship in the consideration of the effects of our management of our differences. It is important that we protect them and ourselves. When you allow your issues of misunderstanding or trust to become topic of discussion between your family or friends then you are heading for destruction.

Husband, love your wife with the love of God, wife love your husband with the love of God. Do not go to bed keeping grudges. Say your night prayer and ask God and man for the forgiveness of the sins you may have committed during the day, and let tomorrow be a new day in God’s presence. That way you may find God’s mercy, count on His grace for a better day and live in peace with your partner.

We are Winners in Christ and the issue of Forgiveness cannot be an obstacle to the peace we are supposed to enjoy in our unions. Keep forgiving and you will win, your marriage will be forever blessed. Please pray your night prayer together as you both are one in Christ.

Am a Winner in Christ.