The Phase Out

Tonia O. Alabi

Picking up my pen to write this column, I couldn’t imagine how time flies. Since the last publication of this column I have gone through a lot, especially the loss of my dear mother to whom I dedicate this article. Not only her, but seems I lost a whole generation of my close family. Before her, was the first grandson in her family, then her immediate junior sister (my mentor) and after her, my mum, then my uncle (my mentor’s husband) and just on the day I was packing my bag to travel for his burial I got a call. My very dear uncle whom we had depended on as a support for my mum after the demise of my dad is gone, just one more death too many, isn’t it?

All these became very scary and overwhelming, I couldn’t comprehend what was happening, but Steve had this to say to me, “It is the phase out of a generation.” It was truly. All these people were the people we related with within the very large family. Mum is from a royal family, and you can understand their will be many wives and children of different generations but these few people who passed within a space of twelve months were the family my sister and I related with closely. They were our cover when it comes to relating with the larger family, I hope you understand.

Their demise meant the cover was off and we had to deal with all we had to deal with. That affected me more as the first child of my mum. I had many roles to play at the same time. What first hit me was the responsibility of having to call everyone, at least everyone who was important old and young, distant and close. For me the demise of my Mum’s junior sister before my mum, meant I had to put on her shoes which indeed was big. It affected me so emotionally and I felt really exposed. I had to be what I had to be to everyone.

Life is full of events that keep changing our personalities. Yes, you are who you are, but you keep adding on roles as you grow. Each passing minute of your day determines the person you will be; a happy person feeling really blessed or an anxious parent or an angry citizen wondering why things are not working as they should in his/ her naturally blessed country, or it could be a health issue or worst still the issue of a lost phone. As years go by we come to appreciate the Gospel more, we are nothing until we live our lives in Christ. The saying “Man proposes God disposes” cannot be more right especially when we see events of our lives unfold.

What I say to you is to start living your life in Christ, that’s if you are yet to. Many decisions we take on daily basis inform the path we are taking. Ask yourself what you want to be remembered for. If all we have to do is to prosper the Kingdom of God on Earth, then life shouldn’t be as difficult as we see it or live it. All you have to do is to love as God ask us to love our neighbour in truth and God’s will reign in our families, community and nations. When you have more than one tunic share the rest with your neighbours but the reverse is what we do. We keep on acquiring more and more. That is what takes true peace away from us.

During the tributes at all the funerals we had, no one mentioned the number of cars, houses nor gold the one been buried had. It was all about what they meant to their families and friends, their neighbours and their God.

Year 2024 is here and running, you can make the difference. Live in Christ, Live for Christ and Humanity and you will be amazed at what Peace you will enjoy. You cannot imagine the reward. Our ever faithful God never fails on His promise. I can testify to that, for what he did for me and my family during all the burials we had for our late loved ones especially my darling Mum, Mama as we call her. Lady Margaret Abike Egunjobi was blessed in her life time and in death God favoured her. It was an awesome experience, and on behalf of the family, I say “Thank You” to all who rose up to the call to give her a befitting burial. You may think you were rewarding her good deed towards you but No! You were just being Gods hands and feet. Your good words for her were helping to fill her record book in Heaven to earn her Gods Mercy. May God Keep and bless you and all yours till when you see Christ. Lady Margaret is a winner as we all her Winners in Christ.