The beer glasses were chilling in the freezer, awaiting the arrival of the aficionado who loves his hops in a frosty mug. A plastic bucket was also stashed in there, packed with ice cream, waiting for the little girl who would invariably request it sometime after dinner that evening.
Dessert time. I opened the freezer and grabbed the ice-cream bucket by the handle. A beer glass leapt out at me. In a mad scramble of hands, elbows, and confusion, I juggled then dropped the ice-cream bucket, caught the beer glass, and congratulated myself on a nimble feat. Then I got mad.
“Did you even think about the way you had that thing wedged in there?” I shot at my husband. “What if that had been Kate pulling the ice cream out of the freezer? Broken glass! Everywhere! She could have gotten hurt!”
“But she didn’t do that. You always get her ice cream, and you can see there’s a glass in there. I didn’t think it would be a problem. But I’m sorry I put it so close to the ice cream. You’re right; it could have been a mess.”
Sheepishly, I admitted he was actually right. I can see the glass in the freezer; I usually do, and this whole thing wasn’t an enormous issue. But, hey, I’m a mom. I can’t help coming up with “What If?” scenarios. I’m an expert at the technique. I’ve noticed, though, in my years of mothering, that daddies seem to play that game less often than mommies do. The way a daddy thinks is just a little bit different.
My husband doesn’t meditate on every possible permutation of a frosty mug/ice cream combo in the freezer, and he doesn’t look ahead to every conceivable horror that could befall our children. He doesn’t fret every time our teens hit the road. He refrains from instructing our 10-year-old not to ride her bike down a steep (well, I think it’s steep) hill. He doesn’t obsess over the fact that I didn’t make everyone apply another coat of bug repellent before that last hike, and he doesn’t seem to lie awake at 3:00 a.m. worrying about our children’s futures.
Does his approach mean that he somehow loves our daughters less fervently than I do? Of course not. It just means that he loves them differently. Daddy-love seems, at times, a little messier, perhaps a little less calculating. There is more abandon and less worry.
It started early at our house. My husband gleefully tossed our baby girls in the air. As they shrieked with delight, I fretted, then relented and smiled. He didn’t so much push a stroller as drive it like a Nascar racer, dodging rocks and cracked pavement. “Faster, Daddy, faster!” I bit my tongue, relented, and ran to catch up. During road trips, he made the car dance. “Faster, Daddy, faster!” I scolded, then laughed. When he taught our daughters to ride a bike, he let go of the handlebars before I thought they were ready to balance. And yet they rode away, giddy and triumphant. I laughed. And then I cried—and thanked him for teaching them how to ride away without looking back.
My baby girls were once nestled in my womb, safe and warm and close. And though I know it’s impossible to do so, I want to arrange them just as neatly in the world. I dream of a haven, a happy place where I can plop them down, without fear or worry, secure in the knowledge that no harm will ever befall them.
Daddies know that the world doesn’t work that way, at least not on this side of heaven. Children leave the womb, pedal away on the bike, tool off in the car, and shriek happily, “Faster, life, faster!” Our fallen world isn’t neat, nor is it always safe or warm, and glass is sometimes hiding near the ice cream. Yes, it might break. When it does, my sweet and wise husband helps me sweep up the mess. And I’m reminded that I ought to be grateful for God’s strange and wonderful plan, which includes the unique way a daddy thinks.
I have been thinking a great deal about my experience at Reconciliation this past Saturday. I felt an intense and unexplainable urge to go and confess my sins when I woke up that morning. I try to go every six weeks or so, but this was no routine visit to the priest for me. I needed to unburden myself of the numerous venial sins I had committed since I last participated in this Sacrament.
Purest Gold: God's Refining Fire in our Lives »
After salvation, many young Christians wonder if there's anything more to their newfound faith than just the security blanket of "being a Christian." Time and time again, God shows himself as a "refiner," and our lives are as gold. God started leading me in this study to understand what He was doing in my life, as well as in the lives of others.
Picking up my pen to write this column, I couldn’t imagine how time flies. Since the last publication of this column I have gone through a lot, especially the loss of my dear mother to whom I dedicate this article. Not only her, but seems I lost a whole generation of my close family.
How to Achieve Business Excellence »
“Do you see a man who excels in his work? He will stand before Kings; He will not stand before unknown men.” Proverbs 22:29
Spiritual Development for our Youth »
Most of us youth in today's fast moving world are easily thrown off by difficulties and worries.
The theme of conversion is a thread that runs all through Lent, but conversion takes on different aspects throughout the phases of Lent. The first two and a half weeks focused on the interior turning of hearts; the liturgy urges the faithful to reflect and examine consciences thoroughly.
Saint Josephine Bakhita »
Feast Day: February 8
Patron Saint Of: Sudan
Saint Josephine Margaret Bakhita was born around 1869 in the village of Olgossa in the Darfur region of Sudan. She was a member of the Daju people and her uncle was a tribal chief. Due to her family lineage, she grew up happy and relatively prosperous, saying that as a child, she did not know suffering.
Catholics Must Fast More Intensely This Lent»
The Norbertine Canons of St. Michael's Abbey have created this digital Lenten retreat so that you can journey through this holy season alongside them. If you want to have one of your best Lenten seasons yet, join us in our Lenten Program "The Great Fast" - https://theabbotscircle.com/the-great-fast-join
When Your Faith Is Put to the Test - Bishop Barron's Sunday Sermon»
Friends, we come now to the Second Sunday of Lent, and we’re on both dangerous and very holy ground with the first reading from the twenty-second chapter of Genesis. The ancient Israelites referred to it as the “Akedah,” which means the “binding”: Abraham binds and is ready to sacrifice Isaac at God’s command.
Copyright © 2002-2024 THE BEACON INTERNATIONAL CATHOLIC MAGAZINE. All rights reserved.
another mc.rufus interactive web design